Rescued from Open Heart Surgery: Prayer, Preparation and Provision

written by Linda Reppert and Mindy Lenahan

Moving from the gray hallway into the tiny gray office to sit in gray chairs to meet with a cardiologist surgeon, my spirit was anything but dreary. Despite the reality of the hospital smell and the certainty of my open heart surgery the next morning, I chose trust over worry. It had been a long three days for my husband and me at the Cleveland Clinic, though all had gone exceptionally well thus far. Relying on God for strength to get through each moment enabled me to remain peaceful as I waited to meet the man ordered to put a knife through my chest. I knew so many were praying God’s perfect will for my life. As we waited, I retraced my climb up the mountain of God’s faithfulness step by step.

Flying up to Cleveland, I determined to not focus on the reason for the trip but rather take in each day as it came. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34). I treasured the flight time with my husband and was excited to see a new city. God wonderfully provided that day.

On Monday my tests began on the first floor of the Clinic. I was prepared for a full day of testing and fasting. People were praying and looking back I could see how God provided. I woke up early and arrived at the clinic second in line. From there I zipped through appointment after appointment all before noon. Through the testing I learned my heart condition was unchanged, I released any thoughts of tomorrow into the capable hands of my Father. After a nice lunch, my husband and I took a beautiful long walk touring the city.

Walking back to the hotel from dinner that night, doubt started to creep into my mind. Recognizing it for what it was, I took the thought captive and said to myself, “I either trust God or I don’t trust Him.” I chose to trust Him, giving Him my complete heart to do with as He saw fit. As a result, His peace reigned over me. Again, God wonderfully provided that day.

Early Tuesday morning, on the second floor of the Clinic, I had the privilege of meeting with a cardiologist specialist – one of the best doctors in America. He said I was an unusual case since there are several things going on in my heart and yet I am still very active. He believed they would be able to do a valve repair instead of a valve replacement. This was good news as it greatly reduced the chance of infection and malfunction.

After being told it was beneficial to have the surgery while still strong physically, I went to a pre-surgery physical where they cleared me to have a heart catheterization. From that procedure I received the report that I had 0% blockage in my arteries. More good news followed as this meant I would be a candidate for a minimum invasive surgery of three to four inches verses a six to eight inch incision. God wonderfully provided that day.

Wednesday morning we were back at the Clinic but this time on the third floor. This would be the final prep day before my surgery the next morning on the fourth floor. As we went through the pre-surgery training I readied my mind to take in the information so that I would be prepared. We watched a video of open heart surgery and they told what to expect afterward. Blurry vision, tubes in your throat and chest, difficult breathing and suicidal thoughts were a few things on the list. I prayed for my husband as he lovingly walked the remainder of this journey with me. By God’s grace I was learning the difference between preparing and worrying. God was teaching me the blessing of turning each day over to Him and not allowing worry to block the way of God’s provision.

The last thing to do was meet the cardiologist surgeon. As we waited in that gray office, I did not know the Lord was about to deliver me from the knife. What happened next, I never saw coming.

The surgeon walked in looking every bit as confident and educated as a surgeon should look. He sat down and started to talk. His eyes softened as he spoke.

“I had three cardiologists review your records and two believe that you are doing so well, you will not be any better off after the surgery. And I agree with the two.”

My thoughts had not yet caught up with my mouth, so he continued, “There is a 1 in 20 chance that something major could happen – heart attack, infection, etc. You are doing far too well to take the risk. Within the next 5 years some non-surgical methods will be out that are not yet FDA approved. Those risks are 1 in a 1000 and you may be a candidate for those. You should be monitored every 6 months and it is possible you may continue as you are for the next 20-30 years.”

I looked at my astonished husband and then back at the doctor, still in disbelief.

With a smile he added, “Instead of surgery tomorrow, why don’t you go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.”

The news began to sink in and I knew exactly what I would do tomorrow. I was going to fly home so I could walk into Bible study and celebrate with the many who were praying so faithfully. Not only was this a victory of deliverance it was testimony to God providing all I needed one day at a time. Because I processed this journey one day at a time, I never emotionally handled day four of surgery. What a huge benefit to Matthew 6:34.

As I processed the miracle even further the story of Abraham and Isaac flooded over me. Just as God tested Abraham, I believe He also tested me. In completely different context and for much different reasons, God asked Abraham for his only son and He asked me for my only heart. Abraham saddled his donkey and I made preparations for two months of caretakers, medical appointments, meals, hotels and flights. On the third day of climbing the mountain Abraham could see the alter but before the knife was inserted God stopped him saying, “…now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” (Genesis 22:12) After the three days of climbing the floors at the Clinic, God also stopped my knife. My heart was His. “So Abraham called the name of that place, “The LORD will provide…” (Genesis 22:14) God greatly provided that day.

I know I only made it that far because of the prayers of many and God’s grace. No way do I have the faith of Abraham, but through this small sampling of a minor test, I have experienced in a major way, the Lord who provides.

Preparing My Heart

In less than two days I will be on my way to the Cleveland Clinic to have open heart surgery. As the awaited time draws closer, I can feel the Lord preparing my heart for the road ahead. Because He is always faithful to equip us for the road He has called us to, He gave me a very specific and practical way to focus on Him. It not only helps calm my heart now as I ready for surgery, but I also plan to use it to occupy my mind as I recover.

Early in this journey the Lord gave me Isaiah 26:3: “He will keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you.” This truth has been the key in walking down this path. It would be so easy to focus on my circumstances, but instead have chosen to focus on the Lord’s attributes allows peace to reign in my heart.

Previously I have used the alphabet to study God’s attributes. One day I would name all the qualities He is that begin with A (Alpha, Awesome, Anchor, Armor, Atonement, Authority, etc.) the next day the letter B and so forth. After trial runs with other surgeries, I became aware that as I pull out of anesthesia and pain medicine, I can only handle focusing on something very simple. So I narrowed my list to one thing for each letter and have spent time storing these traits of God (A-Z) in my heart in preparation of that time:

Almighty

Beautiful

Comforter

Deliverer

Everlasting

Faithful

Giver of Grace

Healer

Indescribable

Just

King of Kings

Lord of Lords

Majestic

Noble

Omega

Provider

Quiets the Storm

Redeemer

Savior

Truth

Unfathomable

Victorious

Worthy

X-ray vision

Yahweh

Zealous for my soul

I have a new season ahead of me – one of pain, recovery and rest. Being one who enjoys so much activity – mentoring, leading Bible study, blogging, tennis, walking and more, I am aware of how difficult this could be. But I walk ahead completely confident of the One who has so faithfully led me this far. He is already teaching me the joy found in the stillness of His presence.

Through these next few months, I will have many doctors, family and friends come and go, but there will be One who will never leave my side. Looking up at the list of all that He is, my heart leaps for joy to be able to share this intimate time with Him alone. I have an awesome Lord to occupy me through this trial. He is the Giver of every breath and the Sustainer of every heart beat.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." - John 14:27

Personifying Palm Trees

Shall we continue our journey through the land of Israel? Will you brave some wilderness terrain and deep valleys with me through these next couple of posts? As always, God will be faithful to uncover riches when we dig for His treasures. Let’s take His hand and journey into the depths of the desert known throughout the Middle East.

We will walk through miles and miles of wilderness. Our throats will grow dry longing for water and if we don’t stop daily to collect our manna, we will die in this place. Signs of life are few and far between. And just when we think we cannot go a step further, God will lead us right up to seventy palm trees. How much more beautiful is such a sight in the middle of plains of desert sand rather than an island in Hawaii. This is precisely where the Lord led the Israelites.

“Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water.” Exodus 15:27

Let’s also camp here. I believe God has much to teach us about these palm trees. Have you ever noticed how much He appears to love them? Take a look at how He decorated His temple…

“On the walls all around the temple, in both the inner and outer rooms, he carved cherubim, palm trees and open flowers.” 1 Kings 6:29

“And on the two olive wood doors he carved cherubim, palm trees and open flowers, and overlaid the cherubim and palm trees with beaten gold.” 1 Kings 6:32

“He engraved cherubim, lions and palm trees on the surfaces of the supports and on the panels, in every available space, with wreaths all around.” 1 Kings 7:36

“He paneled the main hall with pine and covered it with fine gold and decorated it with palm trees and chain designs.” 2 Chronicles 3:5

(If that isn’t enough, you can read Ezekiel 40 and 41 for even more ways palm trees were used as decoration.)

God says, “The righteous will flourish like a palm tree…” (Psalm 92:12). Can you believe God symbolically represents our righteousness with a palm tree? Our righteousness comes from Christ alone. Philippians 3:9 says, “…not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ – the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.” It is a righteousness that can withstand the fierce elements of the wilderness. When rooted in Him, we too can flourish through high winds and dry seasons.

Interesting enough, one of Israel’s largest exports is the date palm tree. Being a fruit bearing palm tree it reminds me of Philippians 1:11 which says, “…filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ – to the glory and praise of God.” Producing a sweet fruit, they begin life in Israel before being exported out to the world.

Jesus began His life in Israel, but God loved the world and could not keep Him there. The sweet message of His gospel is being exported to every tribe and nation.

Whether you are wandering through the desert or in an oasis, the next time you see a palm tree remember the righteousness you have been given through Christ. Jesus spoke in John 15:16 saying, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last…” Like all good things, fruit is enjoyed most when shared with another. Let’s go from this place and share the sweetness we have found from our righteousness in Christ.

Wood You Be In Awe?

by Mindy Lenahan on behalf of Linda Reppert

Ever read details in scripture and wonder why God focuses on such specifics? I have found when I take the time to ask Him, even the tiniest insight He may give leaves me in awe.

God described his temple in great detail: “Then he measured the length of the building facing the courtyard at the rear of the temple, including its galleries on each side; it was a hundred cubits. The outer sanctuary, the inner sanctuary and the portico facing the court, as well as the thresholds and the narrow windows and galleries around the three of them – everything beyond and including the threshold was covered with wood. The floor, the wall up to the windows, and the windows were covered.” Ezekiel 41: 15-16

Wood is hard to find in Israel. There are plenty of rocks, loads of sand and rubble, but not much wood. Due to the limited supply, it holds great value.

Yet the Lord chose wood to fill His temple. Is it insignificant that the only way to enter the inner room – where God’s manifest presence resided – was through wood paneling? To go from common to holy, one had to pass by wood.

Jesus, our pathway to God, worked as a carpenter. Sweaty, dusty and callused, He spent His days dealing with this precious commodity. Though carpentry was considered a lowly profession, He sawed, nailed and hammered on wood daily. A common trade, but an uncommon material…

As a small town Jewish carpenter, He carried the wood into His father’s workshop knowing one day this costly object would be placed on His back. Wood was more than His livelihood; wood was an instrument of His death.

Jesus carried a treasure as He hauled the cross beam up to Golgotha. Along with the inconceivable weight of our sin, He felt the familiar slivering of wood as it etched into His skin.

With the scarcity of wood, the cross beams were recycled. He carried only half His cross up the rugged mountain. The vertical stake was in the ground waiting for Him. Our sin heavy on Him, He still waited to experience the culmination of God’s wrath as He was forsaken.

Hung on a wooden cross, Jesus the carpenter carved our way into Heaven with His own blood, sweat and tears. “It is finished!”

The sky darkened as the earth shook. The veil tore in two and the wood paneling on each side bore the weight of a Savior cutting through. Those wooden walls in the temple would no longer separate the holy from the common. The Master Carpenter created a beautiful masterpiece. We call it the gospel.

Every aspect of Jesus is held to the cross, tied into the gospel – even Him being a carpenter. Truly, He carved the way with nails through His hands and a precious wooden beam on His back.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe.” Hebrews 12:28

Lord, the more I know of You, the more I realize I have yet to learn. Every detail holds truth. Jesus, Carpenter of my heart, I stand in awe.

Real Fireworks

By Mindy Lenahan on behalf of Linda Reppert

God knew where He wanted me on July 4, 2010. I was unsure if I should travel, but I went with a friend to Fort Lauderdale with plans of watching fireworks on the beautiful ocean. But God had greater beauty in mind.

An all day rain drove us miles from the beach to an arena parking lot instead. As the fireworks began an Indian family came and stood in front of the six of us. We had two blankets and two chairs. They had nothing. For an unknown reason, my friends and family chose to sit on the blankets laid over the hard pavement leaving me in a chair with an empty chair next to me. I offered it to the little grandmother type in the Indian family. She gratefully accepted, telling of her double knee replacements. Our conversation began.

“Where are you from?” I asked her.

“India, but living in Florida now.”

“I have a friend who has traveled to India as a Christian missionary.”

“What does a Christian missionary do?”

My heart smiled. I took a deep breath and prayed, “Here we go, Lord.”

In that moment I realized He brought me here for a greater beauty and purpose than 4^th of July fireworks.

When asked about religion, the little grandmother responded in heavy accent, “I believe all religions are good because they all make you do good things, and God wants us to do good things, don’t you agree with me?”

Desiring to build a bridge, I replied, “Yes God does delight when we choose to do good things, but I still have bad things – selfishness, bad thoughts, etc.”

We talked about Mother Theresa. She knew she was a very good woman who would go to Heaven. Then I asked about Hitler. She agreed he was a very bad man who would end up in hell. I said, “We are somewhere in the middle. If truly God evaluates us the way you suggest, where would He draw the line on how many good things get us into Heaven or how many bad things send us to hell? She said nothing.

I shared my bad things (sin) needed to be cleansed. If God accepted me into Heaven the way I am, Heaven would no longer be a perfect place because I would bring dirt with me. I explained God had sent Jesus, for that very reason – to take my sin upon Him, to die and experience the wrath of God – all to cleanse me so I could spend eternity with Him. But Jesus didn’t stay dead. He conquered sin and death when He rose from the grave. I am allowed entrance into Heaven based on my faith in Jesus taking away my sin.

She finally spoke and said, “It is good to hear about this Jesus”, but followed that statement with Jesus being one of many ways to get to Heaven.

Ephesians 2:8-9 came out my mouth: “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.”

I continued, “If good things could get you to Heaven, why did Jesus have to die on the cross? If there was another way, why did He suffer for our sin?”

The Holy Spirit was at work. She asks, “So you are saying Jesus is the only way to Heaven?”

“Jesus Himself said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me” (John 14:6).

Instead of resisting Jesus being mentioned she seemed more intrigued. The fireworks nearly over, she remained thoroughly engrossed in our conversation.

“Fireworks represent our freedom in America, but what I am sharing with you is how you can have freedom from your sin. God knew that tonight you would be sitting in that chair and I would be sitting in this chair and He wants me to tell you about Jesus.”

My Christian friend from South Africa was praying while I, a broken American shared the gospel with a woman from India. While we were celebrating America’s freedom, God was using people from all over the world to share real freedom. Truly, He had bought His world together for this moment. At one point my friend prayed a scripture and later told me that was the very next verse I mentioned to the lady. I was not alone on this mission.

The Indian woman wanted to go to the library to read more about Jesus. She gave me her phone number just as the fireworks ended. Her family came over and said, “This chair has been a blessing to us.”

They had no idea the blessing was eternal.

As we neared the car I asked my friends and family, “So how were the fireworks?”

They responded, “You were where the real fireworks were happening!”

I realized I was just given the privilege of watching the fiery light of His gospel shinning bright against the darkness of the world.

When I returned home, I called my new grandmother friend several times and sent her a large print Bible, which she is reading. In God’s perfect timing He will finish the work He has began.

As I contemplate how God used my 4^th of July vacation, I am reminded of a lesson God revealed to me in Israel. It is a lesson about God coming to get us in the midst of everyday tasks and using us for His eternal purpose.

Consider Mary who was living a poor woman’s life in Nazareth when God came after her.

Ruth was picking up leftover grain in a field when God sent Boaz to her rescue.

Peter, James and John were fishermen – doing just that – fishing, when Jesus called them.

Matthew was collecting taxes when God changed his accounting career.

Each of these had a heart ready to be used while in the middle of the ordinary. Fully surrendered to the call of Jesus, they were open to do anything He asked. We need to ask ourselves, “Is my heart ready to follow when the Lord calls?” If so, God knows where to get us when He is ready to use us.

Please be encouraged in your everyday tasks. You never know when God will show up and allow you the privilege of sharing in His eternal work. An everyday errand may suddenly include taking the time to share Jesus with someone who has never heard. A boring rainy day may unexpectedly become exciting at the opportunity to rescue someone for eternity. You never know when God will see fit to change your every day job to include a story worthy of the mission field. Your mission field is wherever you are currently. God never overlooks a willing heart. Be ready. Stay faithful. He will show up and light up your sky with some real fireworks – the kind that last forever.

Dressed for Success

Written by Tara Mock and Linda Reppert

Based on a story in Linda’s Life

The rumble of dozens of motorcycles were felt before they were heard. We were on a weekend getaway in the early years of marriage. To fit this trip into our tight budget, we made our reservation site unseen at a low budget motel near Stone Mountain, Georgia.

The rumble grew to a roar, then to a stop as the rowdy motorcycle riders filled the parking lot of our hotel. I know that there are a lot of wonderful people that ride motorcycles as some of them are my close friends. Let’s just say that it did not look like this group of riders would be getting up for church on Sunday morning.

One thought consumed us, “What do we do?”

“…take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all to stand firm.”

We hoped they did not notice how out of place we felt. We were hoping our weekend getaway did not turn into a police report.

“Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and as shoes for your feet having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace.”

Should we stay? Should we go? We had already paid for our room and did not really have the funds to stay anywhere else. Would they hurt us? Were they harmless? What if they got rowdy as they partied?

“In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit…”

Yes, this event definably increased our prayer life! What if we had to leave quickly for our own safety? How should we prepare for that?

All of the pieces of the armor of God were given to us at the moment we surrendered our hearts and lives to follow Christ. Look again at this gift package that we get from the armor: truth, righteousness, peace, faith, salvation, the Holy Spirit, and the Word of God. What incredible gifts! If we leave out any of these gifts, we are not fully armed. Can you imagine living without anyone of them? Makes us wonder why we loosen our belt, lay down our shield, kick off our shoes, unsnap the chin strap of our helmet and put down our sword. God is encouraging us to now put it ALL on and stand firm!

The noise outside our hotel continued late into the night. It was hard to relax. As we started to change into our night clothes, we looked at each other. Maybe we should lay out our clothes as close to us as possible in the event we needed to leave quickly. Was that enough?

God has given us amazing armor. But then our lives get busy and our armor slips. First, our time in his word (sword) gets laid aside. Chink-ka-chink. Then, our shield (faith) gets heavy. Plunk-zing. Then our head gets filled with doubts and we shake our helmet lose. Clang. Peace seems to leave and we notice our shoelaces are untied. Ssssspppp. Sssspppp. We are carrying more weight then we should so we loosen our belt (truth) and truth becomes relative. Click click click. We do not feel righteous (breastplate) anymore because we are looking at ourselves instead of the righteousness of Christ in us. Ding-ding-ding. The enemy finds holes in our armor. Something is wrong, so very, very wrong as the enemy begins to attack relentlessly. We need our armor back on! Where is it, Lord?

No, it would not be enough. To really be ready to escape out of that hotel in case of true danger, we needed to sleep fully prepared. No thief in the night or drunk and rowdy biker gang was going to stand by patiently while we changed clothes. No. We needed to be fully dressed.

Fully dressed with the full armor of God. No dust anywhere, but everything oiled and polished, ready to go. Standing firm. Each piece so vitally important to the whole, for if any one piece is loose or missing, there is an opening for the enemy.

That night our sleep was light and our senses heightened for any danger. We had to be wise with everything we did. We slept fully dressed, scripture on our minds and prayers on our lips.

We have all had holes in our armor at times. The Word of God, prayer, and help from other armor bearers are ways to plug the holes. Then, we will regain our strength, as we make sure our belt is tight, our shoes are tied, our breastplate is in place, our helmet secure, with our shield and sword in our hands. Once again, we are standing firm.

We awoke much earlier than the motorcycle party gang to discover that all was fine. We breathed a sigh of thankfulness.

“To proclaim your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night...” Psalm 92:2

Note: All unmarked Scripture quotes are from Ephesians 6.

Discovering Treasure in His Land

Written by Mindy Lehehan based on interview with Linda Reppert

If you were to walk with me onto Israeli ground, you could not help but be taken back by the extensive desert, rugged terrain and rocky hillsides. Yet there remains something striking about the perilous and unattractive land. Countless wars have been fought here. Jerusalem leveled 18 times and built again. Conquered 37 times and changed human hands 86 times, yet one thing always remained. This land is His. The territory He promised to His people. The land He chose to walk as a man, tell the beautiful gospel story that embraces the whole world.

There truly is no other country like Israel. But why would the God of the universe pick this place to reveal what some call His fifth gospel*? Why, with the world at His feet, did He not settle His people among the majestic mountains of Switzerland or the tropical beaches of Hawaii? But one does not walk with Him for long before we learn; He does all things on purpose.

Nothing about this land speaks of an effortless life. From the lack of rain to the constant combat, living here requires faith and some serious prayer. Knowing what we need better than we do, God provides for His people a place demanding total dependence on Him to survive. As David beautifully penned, “Oh God, you are my God, earnestly I see you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1) In the heart of a vast desert, the Lord found the perfect location for the Holy to enter into relationship with the human. Survival meant trust in Him alone.

There are limitless lessons to be learned from this distinctive land. Physically walking in the desert allows familiar Scripture to come alive. You can see the valley of the shadow; better understand the parable of the seeds. But long after returning home, it still continues to speak. Passages in the Bible normally skimmed over suddenly come alive. There are lessons in the wilderness, in the rocks, in the water. So much wisdom buried here; we could never reach the bottom. All have impact on our lives today.

The Lord has seen fit to remove me from the tennis courts but has given me the privilege of walking in His courts – His land. Will you join me in an archeological dig of sorts as we uncover some beautiful treasures hidden in the terrain of Israel and in the riches of God’s Word? Once you uncover one gem, you often find another…and the journey continues deeper and deeper into the heart of God. And maybe you also will find yourself loving the land He loves.

*My tour guide referred to the land as the fifth gospel. I found this interesting since the details of the land clearly reinforce the message of the four gospels – God loves us, came to rescue us from our sin through the death of Jesus and is alive preparing a place for us in eternity.

Healing for a Heart: A True Story of Hope in the Holy Land (written by Mindy Lenahan)

To meet Linda Reppert today you would never know a few months ago she was diagnosed with a serious heart disease expected to affect her quality of life and shorten her life span. Her slender, athletic build, sun kissed skin and hair conveys a picture of health. When her steady hazel eyes meet yours and her lips give way to a friendly smile, there is no indication of fear or uncertainty. Yet, for eight long months she has had countless doctor appointments, numerous tests and a surgery to determine what has caused her enlarged heart. It is still unknown why her blood pumps at only 50% capacity. At times she has actually felt her heart working inside her as it struggled to do its intended job. Facing a relentless fatigue daily she still cares for her family and friends as the ever strong one. It was in the midst of such crucial physical circumstances; Linda made the decision to visit Israel a second time.

Linda had been home only four days when she agreed to meet with me following her fourth doctor appointment of the week. Due to being sent for an unforeseen test our time was delayed although the results of that appointment would become the driving force behind my every word. I walked into Linda’s home only hours after she received news open heart surgery was recommended to repair or replace a worn out defective valve the doctors believe is a contributing cause of her enlarged heart. She was given less than a 60% chance her life will improve after the surgery. Remaining untreated, her heart will eventually stop working. I sat and listened to her story while my own heart ached and tears poured on my paper, yet not once did her faith appear to waiver. Not once did she seem without hope. Heaviness came over me as I realized the weight of the story God had entrusted me to write. It was one with much more impact than a friend’s recent visit to Israel.

With her doctor’s approval Linda set out on a journey that would change, challenge and encourage her as she faced the trial of a lifetime. “Though I immediately started feeling my heart struggling I did not miss a minute of the tour. Aside from my husband and two close friends the other 28 people did not know of my condition. I did not want to be the ‘sick one’ or someone people had to worry about.” Despite her swollen legs and extreme fatigue she felt God strengthen her to press on to each location and soak in many lessons.

Near the end of the trip there came a time for her secret to be revealed. As they neared the Pool of Bethesda, known as a place of healing, Linda knew she could not leave without prayer. “Being obedient to James 5:14: ‘If anyone is sick, let him call to the elders to pray and anoint him with oil.’ This would be the third time I requested this from a different set of elders in different locations.” Knowing He could heal, and trusting Him completely with the decision, they prayed fervently each time. Linda’s heart remained the same. Yet that moment in Jerusalem became most memorable as God spoke to her soul through James 1:2-4: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Like Paul, she had brought her request before the Lord three times and He had chosen for her to endure. “I realized that going through this trial was the only way God could make me ‘mature and complete, not lacking in anything.’ We all want the end result, but most of us do not want to go through the trial to get the maturity.” She felt peace and a renewed joy to be serving Him, even with a defective heart.

They visited a church near the pool where the acoustics could have made a frog croak sound like a blue bird in the morning. “How could we not sing?” Fresh from begging her Maker for healing, still sick she turned to Him and sang, “Lord, I give you my heart…” The significance of the words not lost on her she continued on, “I give you my soul, and I live for you alone. Every breath that I take, every moment I am awake, Lord have Your way in me…”

Another powerful moment on this pilgrimage to the Holy Land was when they passed through the valley of death and entered the Garden of Gethsemane. Heart pounding, breathless and sweating, Linda was overwhelmed thinking the Lord was allowing her to share in a very slight glimpse of His suffering in the Garden. “I realized this was not only a place of prayer, but a place of decision. What God was asking me to endure would cost me something. Would I be able to reach the point in the struggle to pray, ‘Not my will, but yours be done?’ The lesson continued as I recognized this place of prayer and decision was also a place of betrayal.” Tears stung her eyes, but the pain that filled her heart at that moment was not physical. She knew betrayal. Any tears cried since her diagnosis was not from fear or pain, but rather the lack of encouragement from some of her family. Ones trusted to protect her seemed to be leaving her alone at a time when most needed. Mercifully, her pain, decision and betrayal were very tiny compared to Jesus who had faced total separation from God when He bore our sin. Because of this, Linda would never have to be alone. Jesus would be her constant companion during her trial. She would steady her eyes on her Savior as He has fixed His eyes on His Father. She knew there would be glory after her Gethsemane just as Jesus had glory after His.

Leaving the Garden they trekked on down the Via Dolorosa, the street where Jesus carried His cross up to Golgotha. “When Jesus entered Jerusalem he came down a hill on a donkey and the people cried ‘Hosanna!’ It was a grand entrance coming down the hill but when He left the city it was a sorrowful incline. He had been beaten and you could almost picture Him in the street with the cross. He came in all His glory and I sent Him out with all my sin.” Linda’s chest again hurt, this time the pain spiritual as she felt the crushing cost of her own sin upon the back of her Savior. To stop there would be to lose all hope, so she continued on.

Walking from the place of the Skull to the garden tomb, Linda’s heart took on a renewed strength. She could not wait to get there. Just as Jesus’ fearful and despairing disciples became courageous and filled with hope at the sight of the risen Lord, Linda’s disposition also changed. “We all took our turn going into the tomb. People were exiting with heads down processing it or weeping. I came out with a smile and my arms were raised. It was a place of victory; a place of hope.” Many have shed tears over her physical struggle, but she really has not. If she has cried it has been in response to the reactions of others. The same hope that fills the empty tomb fills her entire being. Her confidence lies not in the doctor’s words but in the very Word of God. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26) Though an uncertain road lies ahead, she walks in complete trust of the God that has ordained her every day.