written by Linda Reppert and Mindy Lenahan
Moving from the gray hallway into the tiny gray office to sit in gray chairs to meet with a cardiologist surgeon, my spirit was anything but dreary. Despite the reality of the hospital smell and the certainty of my open heart surgery the next morning, I chose trust over worry. It had been a long three days for my husband and me at the Cleveland Clinic, though all had gone exceptionally well thus far. Relying on God for strength to get through each moment enabled me to remain peaceful as I waited to meet the man ordered to put a knife through my chest. I knew so many were praying God’s perfect will for my life. As we waited, I retraced my climb up the mountain of God’s faithfulness step by step.
Flying up to Cleveland, I determined to not focus on the reason for the trip but rather take in each day as it came. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34). I treasured the flight time with my husband and was excited to see a new city. God wonderfully provided that day.
On Monday my tests began on the first floor of the Clinic. I was prepared for a full day of testing and fasting. People were praying and looking back I could see how God provided. I woke up early and arrived at the clinic second in line. From there I zipped through appointment after appointment all before noon. Through the testing I learned my heart condition was unchanged, I released any thoughts of tomorrow into the capable hands of my Father. After a nice lunch, my husband and I took a beautiful long walk touring the city.
Walking back to the hotel from dinner that night, doubt started to creep into my mind. Recognizing it for what it was, I took the thought captive and said to myself, “I either trust God or I don’t trust Him.” I chose to trust Him, giving Him my complete heart to do with as He saw fit. As a result, His peace reigned over me. Again, God wonderfully provided that day.
Early Tuesday morning, on the second floor of the Clinic, I had the privilege of meeting with a cardiologist specialist – one of the best doctors in America. He said I was an unusual case since there are several things going on in my heart and yet I am still very active. He believed they would be able to do a valve repair instead of a valve replacement. This was good news as it greatly reduced the chance of infection and malfunction.
After being told it was beneficial to have the surgery while still strong physically, I went to a pre-surgery physical where they cleared me to have a heart catheterization. From that procedure I received the report that I had 0% blockage in my arteries. More good news followed as this meant I would be a candidate for a minimum invasive surgery of three to four inches verses a six to eight inch incision. God wonderfully provided that day.
Wednesday morning we were back at the Clinic but this time on the third floor. This would be the final prep day before my surgery the next morning on the fourth floor. As we went through the pre-surgery training I readied my mind to take in the information so that I would be prepared. We watched a video of open heart surgery and they told what to expect afterward. Blurry vision, tubes in your throat and chest, difficult breathing and suicidal thoughts were a few things on the list. I prayed for my husband as he lovingly walked the remainder of this journey with me. By God’s grace I was learning the difference between preparing and worrying. God was teaching me the blessing of turning each day over to Him and not allowing worry to block the way of God’s provision.
The last thing to do was meet the cardiologist surgeon. As we waited in that gray office, I did not know the Lord was about to deliver me from the knife. What happened next, I never saw coming.
The surgeon walked in looking every bit as confident and educated as a surgeon should look. He sat down and started to talk. His eyes softened as he spoke.
“I had three cardiologists review your records and two believe that you are doing so well, you will not be any better off after the surgery. And I agree with the two.”
My thoughts had not yet caught up with my mouth, so he continued, “There is a 1 in 20 chance that something major could happen – heart attack, infection, etc. You are doing far too well to take the risk. Within the next 5 years some non-surgical methods will be out that are not yet FDA approved. Those risks are 1 in a 1000 and you may be a candidate for those. You should be monitored every 6 months and it is possible you may continue as you are for the next 20-30 years.”
I looked at my astonished husband and then back at the doctor, still in disbelief.
With a smile he added, “Instead of surgery tomorrow, why don’t you go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.”
The news began to sink in and I knew exactly what I would do tomorrow. I was going to fly home so I could walk into Bible study and celebrate with the many who were praying so faithfully. Not only was this a victory of deliverance it was testimony to God providing all I needed one day at a time. Because I processed this journey one day at a time, I never emotionally handled day four of surgery. What a huge benefit to Matthew 6:34.
As I processed the miracle even further the story of Abraham and Isaac flooded over me. Just as God tested Abraham, I believe He also tested me. In completely different context and for much different reasons, God asked Abraham for his only son and He asked me for my only heart. Abraham saddled his donkey and I made preparations for two months of caretakers, medical appointments, meals, hotels and flights. On the third day of climbing the mountain Abraham could see the alter but before the knife was inserted God stopped him saying, “…now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” (Genesis 22:12) After the three days of climbing the floors at the Clinic, God also stopped my knife. My heart was His. “So Abraham called the name of that place, “The LORD will provide…” (Genesis 22:14) God greatly provided that day.
I know I only made it that far because of the prayers of many and God’s grace. No way do I have the faith of Abraham, but through this small sampling of a minor test, I have experienced in a major way, the Lord who provides.
